The Great Council

For over a year now, my family gathers every Sunday night to discuss our week ahead.  We call it Family Council and believe it is a method for teaching cooperation and individual responsibility.  It has been one of the best things we have done that increases involvement in decision making.  When we first started, we let our children know that we want them to be involved in decisions that affect them and want them to believe their ideas have value.

The method comes from Vivian Brault M.A. who has over 25 years of experience in the fields of education and mental health and former Director of the Parent Education Center at Boise State University.

No one individual should have to make all decisions for others or should the full responsibility for a well functioning family.  It is important that the children accept their responsibility in making things run smoothly.  As time goes by – the family functions and interactions will become more and more cooperative, and harmonious through the process involved in the family council.

Here is the critical point:

Implementing council meetings does NOT mean that parents abandon their important role as leader in issues that concern family health or welfare; there are some issues in which adult experience and leadership is needed for the benefit of all.  What this DOES mean is that parents provide a model of leadership and cooperative family interaction by soliciting and utilizing suggestions made by ALL family members concerning family fun, responsibilities, and cooperation.  All decisions made by a Family Council are agreed upon by consensus.  And if a child does not comply with family decisions, the consequences are also determined by ALL family members.  This relieves parents of their former “police role” and accompanying exhaustion, brought on by trying to do everything themselves.

Our meeting agendas go something like this:

1. Affirmations – we let others know we enjoy being with them and appreciate their accomplishments and contributions
2. Reading of minutes – from last meeting
3. Old Business – issues/problems discussed before but not resolved or finished.
4. New Business – issues, problems to be discussed and decided during this meeting
5. Family Calendar – family recreation, play dates, vacation plans, activities
6. Closing – who leads next meeting, security, snack (personal favorite)

Family Council was not easy at first, it took deliberate practice.  But, as meetings continued, we looked forward to the time set aside for joint thought and action.  As our children reach their teen years, the council will become increasingly important as the only time all of us come together to enjoy activities and communicate as a family.  We believe our Family Council will create a solid nucleus in which we all learn, enjoy and appreciate each other.